All Doped Up humor me
by PsychoticIScareYou
Summary: I shall do a funny! And you shall love! Students are no longer students, but horny teachers. Just read, u'll either completely love it or want to spit on it...
1. Chapter 1

here's a story about a man, a plan, a canal, and oddly enough, panama. But on a serious note, like c# or something, I should like to progress. This is my weak attempt at humor. My first "comedy" per say. Yah, it's a crossover, but it's mainly Final Fantasy 8, so dont sue me please. Cuz y'all know not a lot of people read crossovers. Well anyway, shall we continue? ps... random comments... yah just ignore those.

Disclaimer (you: amaga i hate people who try disclaimers! me: blink blink o.O): Pie...

LOVE ME JACKIE! (me:cringe)

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Chapter 1

_In another world- another dimension... How would it have been? _0.0

Squall walked into class- late as always. He lay his stuff on his desk. Then he walked to the board ahead. "Raise your hand if you're not here." he said lazily. "M'kay, five absent." He scratched in his little book, which made all the smart asses that raised their hands a little weary. "Now open your books and pretend to read while I get my coffee." He went to his other desk and flipped a switch. A little prissy girl with her hand held way up high finally spoke. "Excuse me sir, which pages are we supposed to be reading?" He turned slowly, looking agitated. "Read pages 100 - 340. You have 5 minutes. Go." Not to anyone's surprise, she opened the book and quickly started reading.

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Meanwhile, in the next room over, a very awake Instructor Trepe stood next to a detailed diagram on the chalkboard illustrating the chemical properties of ethers. Slouched down in the back of the room, a very hot and cocky student rubbed up some other student's leg. She slapped at his hand and looked at him in disgust. He simply grinned. "Mister Almasy!" Trepe shouted from the front. He swung his head around smoothly. "Yes, m'lady?" She hid a blush very well, but she felt it. "Keep your hands to yourself, sir." Almasy pulled his hands back. "Why Instructor, are you suggesting I masturbate in class?" And so the daily feud had begun again.

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In the gymnasium, Yuffie and Rikku demonstrated to the class how to throw small items like shurikens at people, and how to play a game with them. Once they had went through in detail, Rikku split up the teams, and they all got spare items to throw. In about three minutes and ten million shrieks of pain, they were down to two people- Yuffie on team Yuffie, and Rikku on team Rikku. After a long drawn out period, Rikku finally slipped and got bombed with materia. "Hey, no fair!" she stood up, arms behind her back, and leaning forward in shameful rock, catching the definate attention of all the guys present.

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Zell, on the other hand, was getting walkie-talkied. _"Mr. Dincht to the main hall, we have a puke incident. Probably another bolemic student. We'll need you here immediately, it's starting to stink."_ came the voice which he could only identify as Selphie. He hung his head and wheeled his yellow cleany thingy to the middle of the main hall where Selphie stood, happy as ever. "Where's the puke?" Zell asked in a monotone. "There is no puke, silly! But there's an empty bathroom right there points for...Whatever else you might want to do." She grinned and poked her tongue out at him, secretly meaning _whoever_ else. He ditched the cart, she ditched the talkie, and they went in to make like rabbits and f---ill the soap back up...wink wink

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Irvine, my sweet sweaty shirtless Irvine, was at the back of the class as always, with Rinoa at the board. He had jacked the temperature up so all the girls had their jackets off. Rinoa had her overcoat off as she drew some diagrams on the board. This was sex ed class, but with Irvine in the lead, it was more like kama sutra class. Only females filled the class, all very admiring of Irvine, sweet sweet Irvine. "At the top way up there, I want you to label those body parts." he smirked at her. She looked up. "Mr.Kinneas, I'm sure everybody in the class knows what those are." she argued cutely, hands on hips. "You know why little miss? Because I'm here to teach it to you, now go on." he said. As she reached way up to write on the board, he gazed at her tightening buttox. His pants were very tight, and everyone noticed, for every girl in the room was turned around with their heads in dark places... o.o

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After the quickie in the bathroom, Selphie returned to her class, dress a little crooked and hair a little frizzied. She walked in grinning like a psychopath, but none of them dared to question her when she shouted "No lessons today!" and kicked her heels back to her desk where she hummed and drew a little picture of something... You know, I think I'm going to stop there for now.

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Hoped u like it. I know it's short, they'll all be short, but hopefully frequent. Anyway, u luff me now, SO REVIEW! meecrob... 


	2. Chapter 2, the day after yesterday

Boredom has struck again! And from this boredom will spring the device in which your boredom will dissipate forever! Or, at least for the minute or two it takes you to read this fanfy.

Disclaimer (you: again? can't you just friggin give up all ready? me: ...blink... um...are...you ok?): when da moon 'its da sky like a big pizza pie that's amore!

Loodee doo doo

Chapter 2- The Next Chapter

Trepe was in the door and drawing more diagrams on ethers, this time how to construct a small portion of it, long before the bell rang. When she was satisfied, she dusted off her hands and put a worksheet on every desk. Polka polka dot dot polka dot. The first student in the door, oddly, was our luffable Mr. Almasy. "What are you doing here so early?" Trepe said as she noticed him. "Can't I just come chill with my favorite teacher, Quisty?" he defended, collapsing into her chair, looking aimlessly through her stuff. She grabbed it away. "That's Instructor Trepe to you, Seifer, now to your desk, or at least away from mine." she said coolly. "Ooh, frisky aren't we Instructor?" he asked. She gave him a why-are-you-really-here look. "I ain't got nowhere to go for now. You're interesting, so now I'm bugging you."

The rest of Trepe's class filed in after the bell rang, giving questioning looks at Seifer and Quistis. He walked across the table tops to his desk where he jumped in. He, in doing so, pissed off a whole row of people. The instructor only sighed.

Zell Dincht was called again to the main hall for a puking incident. He left his yellow cart thing in the janitors room with high expectations, but found that it was a bad idea, seeing as when he got there, there was a large pile of chunky stomach acided food on the floor with yellow cones around it. He hung his head and turned back with a very sad li'l mister in his pants.

Meanwhile, in the gym, the class was doing stretches with Yuffie and Rikku. Afterwards, Yuffie ran to the big wall and pulled down hard on a chain that went to the ceiling and came back down. By pulling, she released the bottom of a giant rolled up tarp with five consecutive targets painted on. They showed the class different techniques for throwing shurikens and daggers at the targets, and then, the class took turns throwing sharp pointy objects.

Secretly, Yuffie and Rikku were behind the bleachers giggling and making out...((in honor of my Yuki))

Selphie was in her happy mood as always as she put the arithmatic equations on the board. The class moaned as they saw them. "Cheer up, sillies, if you look harder, the answers are there too!" she grinned as she looked at some very detailed FF8 Yaoi online at her computer. She was most interested in the Irvine-Zell pictures, you know, part imagination ((the Irvine part)), part nostalgic memory ((the Zell part)). u

Irvine, again with the heat up and no shirt, was in the back again. "In my criteria, I've been instructed to go over pregnancy risks, and some other baby-type shit. So first off, who can tell me how babies are made?" Every girl raised their hand. "Miss Heartilly?" she clears her throat. "When a mommy and daddy love each _very much_, they decide to show their love in a physical way- " the Instructor chuckled. "I'm going to have to stop you there, babe. It'll take forever that way. You make a baby by having sex." he announced to the class. "If you don't want a baby, you should have used a condom. If you did and it still didn't work, you're pretty damn unlucky. Any questions?" Irvine the gunner asked ((no, sillies, there's no sexual connotation in that... shifty eyes...)). "Ok, give me a second." he stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a handfull of condoms. "Anyone need one?" he offered.

Squall, late as always, walked in and started his coffee. "Raise your hand if you're not here." he said again. This time, nobody raised their hand. "Ok! Today we'll be starting our unit on elemental creatures. First, write down all the creatures you can think of. Then we'll discuss." After five minutes, he wrote on the board all the creatures the class had mention. "Caterchipillar, Mesmerize, Buel, Ochu, and that one ice-bug thingy. Is that all you guys got?" he turned around with a repulsed look on his face. The know-it-all in the front said, "But sir, I mentioned Cactuars." Because she didn't raise her hand, and also because Mr. Leonhart didn't like her, he ignored her and went back to the board and scribbled a long list of other creatures ranging from the Abyss Worm to the Wendigo. "Take down the names of all of those. Then pick a partner, and I'll assign a monster for each group to study on."


End file.
